128) Nadine


I  am glad you are here.

In the previous post you read about Stanley and Braun – my new internet marketing company.

In this I provide an update on Nadine’s activities.

On a dark day in February of 1978, a young lady approached the door of a grand but slightly worn out looking Victorian mansion high atop Nob Hill in San Francisco. She was greeted by a young man dressed in a gold, one-pieced jump suit, the kind a laborer might wear in a posh hotel. The young woman had only just arrived in the city and was in need of a room. Her looked was that of a fresh-scrubbed sorority girl, not so plain as to be from the farm but without a spec of makeup, not a city girl either. Straight nose, brown hair, freckles and bright smile, her health and gentle, yet dignified manner radiated throughout the entryway of the San Francisco Residence Club.

The young man who greeted her had been painting room 51B, the one with high ceilings and a view across Nob Hill to the China Basin.

“Nadine, I’d like you to meet Oliver Stanley, he is our manager,” Mrs. Williams said, as she introduced me to this person. This person who literally took my breath away.

As you might know, the description above tries to paint a picture of the first time I met Nadine in San Francisco.

Looking back, neither of us realized we were going to be spend the next 35 years together.

By the year 2009, Nadine had been working in her northern Colorado college teaching career for 13 years.

It is my belief that Nadine was still very much in love with me – there in our 29th year of marriage – but our two failed businesses had strained our relationship. I felt Nadine had lost faith in my ability to put us on a financial path to build a nest egg.

I still believed in myself.  And I was frustrated Nadine stubbornly clung to the mentality that, to get ahead, you took the best job you could find and held onto it – no matter what.

I had started my engineering career in 1985 but by 1995 I realized I had made a big mistake and wanted out. I turned to independent contracting in 1996, which had the effect of extending my career. But I discovered that I was essentially a family man and that no amount of money was worth being away from home.

If you are reading this blog for the first time, you may be thinking this poor SOB doesn’t realize how lucky he is; living in America, robust health and every chance to succeed. Relative to other people of the world, I was one of the luckier ones. But please  keep in mind however, I had already overcome considerably bad circumstances earlier in my life to make it to this point.

More to the point, my story is about persistence. Every story of achievement, however insignificant relative to the worlds more important issues, is rooted in persistence.

From Nadine’s point of view, remaining in our marriage for over 30 years, was also an exercise in persistence.

Nadine is a bookworm. Maybe she is able to escape her troubles through the worlds that are created within the books she reads.

During the year of 2009, she continued to work with students from all  over the world, teaching them English.

But during the year I  began to notice a change in Nadine. It was if a giant weight had been lifted from her shoulders. Except during social occaisions – mostly to put her guests at ease – she still didn’t laugh much. And if I am being honest, we had lost the intimacy in our marriage. I blame myself for that.

Her mood was lighter.

Our son Stevie was beginning to make a miraculous recovery from a dozen years of pain, self-pity and drug addiction.

Nadine, Stevie and I had each began our own personal journey through recovery.

Nadine and I began to sleep through the night.

We had worried night and day about Stevie from 1996 to 2009.

Here, only a few months into Stevie’s new life,  we began to feel  hope this  would last.


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